


Challenge

by Charming_Quill



Series: R.E.D. 2.0 [2]
Category: RED (2010)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-05
Updated: 2014-01-05
Packaged: 2018-01-07 12:38:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1119911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charming_Quill/pseuds/Charming_Quill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A challenge to do an entire work of writing made up of only dialogue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Challenge

“I’ve gotta feeling…ooooooooooohhhhh ooooooohhhh…that tonight’s gonna be a good night. Yeah tonight’s gonna be a good good night…..”

“Pleaze ztop that racket. I’m trying to do my homevork.”

“Sure thin’ Veronika……ack…”

“Iz something vrong Taylor?”

“Um…what’s that cigarette doin’ in your mouth?”

“Vell, I vaz pazzing by thiz ztore and zomeone offered to pay fohr a cigarette fohr me. I told him no but he inzizted. In order to geht rid ohf him, I told him yez. He brought me thiz and it vaz goohd zo nov I zmoke.”

“You can’t smoke! It’s bad for your health, it’s bad for the health of those around you, and it’s disgustin’!”

“Dat iz youhr opinion.”

“But…..but…."

“Bezidez, you’re dangerouz driving iz juzt az bad fohr your health az diz cigarette.”

“What does bad drivin’ hafta do with smokin’?”

“Addictionz can be, hov you zay, treacherouz.”

“Um…….Sarah! COME HERE!”

“Huh….what now?”

“Don’t you see this? I mean this is…it’s………..…..eehum….could you stop cleanin’ your knife for two seconds an’ listen?”

“Do I hafta?”

“Veronika is smokin’. She smokin’.”

“And….”

“And you should tell her to stop smokin’.”

“As long as smokin’ doesn’t psychologically impair her ability to perform on a mission, I don’t mind. Now if you’ll excuse me. I think I cut my finger. MELISSA! Where are the band aids?”

“Sarah please. I am terribly busy with other important matters and I would prefer if you found the band aids by yourself.”

“Uploadin’ your online comic ain’t bein’ busy. I’m bleedin’ to death here!”

“If you insist, I shall close my computer, get up out of my cozy beanbag that I spent hours in to create the ideal temperature, and escort you to the band aids.”

“I only ask since you were the last one to have ‘em…..get up.”

“Fine…..where are they again?”

“MELISSA!”

“Ummm…guys…Veronika is SMOKIN’!”

“I am only joking, Sarah. By the way Veronika, nice cigarette.”

“Fine. Go get your band aid! Geesh………What is wrong with everyone…oh. Lidia. Finally someone who’ll talk some sense. Tell Veronika she’s gotta stop smokin’.”

“I don’t care.”

“Hahahaha…you don’t mean that.”

“It’s her body. Not yours. Deal with it.”

“But……..Ugh!”

“Perhapz yohu zhould ztop.”

“Ha! Elizabeth! Come here.”

“Yes love?”

“What would your poor parents think of Veronika if they saw her commitin’ this disgraceful act?”

“Don’t bring that into the house. Smoke outside.”

“Not what I was goin’ for.”

“Well, I’ve got a pie in the oven so cheerio.”

“Procraztinating youhr homevork again iz not goohd.”

“I know Veronika but cooking these bloody desserts is just so time consuming.”

“Very vell. Carry on.”

“Yeah. Go ahead. Abandon your sis’ in her hour of need. Well, I’m not gonna. There’s gotta be some way to get you to stop smokin’ and I’m determined to find it!”

“The chanzez of me ztopping the zmoking are abouht az goohd az the chanzez of yohu abandoning youhr adrenalin driving ruzhez.”

“Ah….ummmm…ooooo….eeeeee….”

“Yez?”

“Huh….how about….if I stop drivin’ recklessly, you stop smokin’.”

“Hmmmm….you’ve peaked my interest. Continue.”

“Well, I guess if I’m so bugged ‘bout you smokin’ and your so bugged ‘bout my drivin’, we could compromise.”

“I dhink ve couhld come up vith something.”

“Wait, what are you doin’?”

“Here. I, Taylor Mozez, hereby promize to ztop my recklezz driving vayz if and only if Veronika Liliya Simanova alzo promizez to give up zmoking her cigarettez. Zign here.”

“Ok. So I sign and that’s it. No strin’s attached.”

“I read de contract. Did youh hear any ztringz?”

“No. Seems legit to me. Alright I’ll sign. There.”

“Ok.”

“Whew. I’m glad that’s ov………wait. You just tossed your cigarette.”

“Zo?”

“You’re quittin’ already? Just, poof, you’re done.”

“Quitting iz noht dat hard. Here, you can keep da rezt ohf da pack.”

“Agh! Be careful when you’re tossin’ those. I don’t wanna have these spill all over the place….hey, why are they black?”

“Zpecial brand.”

“Wha….hold on….”

“Try one.”

“I’m not gonna…”

“Try it.”

“Ummmm….it tastes like….mint?”

“Yez. Quite tazty. I hope you know, you ztill keep youhr end of bargain. Oh, and cloze youhr mouth. A goldfizh iz noht attractive.”

“You…..and I…..and you……and……….ERRGH! What are they filled with?”

“Liquid nitrogen and tic-tac. Melizza made it fohr me. Zhe can make zome fohr you too.”

“I did NOT sign up for fake cigarettes.”

“Technically, you did.”

“URRGH! Next time….I’ll get you for this.”


End file.
